Best Authority Figure
Mmmm I really don’t know. I’ll have to say Bischoff by default, seeing as Teddy Long hasn’t done anything of note in my book. Vince is usually good for a laugh with his power-walk of intense pants-fillingness., but The Bisch puts up with no amount of crapo from Vince, purely for having the balls to be better than him once upon a time. Bisch gets this.
Best TV show
House. No, seriously, Hugh Laurie is twice the actor that The Rock is. If you want me to talk wrestling, as I suspect you might… then Raw gets it, purely because Smackdown is awful.
Best heel
I’m gonna SHOCK the WORLD here. JBL. Yes, that JBL – the crap one who thinks he’s a wrestling-a… God. He might be as useful in the ring as a wet paper bag, but bah gawd if he isn’t a damn good heel. I also make a honourable mention for Domink Mysterio here – because I can.
Best babyface
Gotta be DAVE~~~! He might not be anything other than a glorified Ultimate WOYAH~~~! Clone but hey, he plays his role well and gets the fans into his angle. Sure, he’s out of gas just after he’s danced at the top of the ramp. Oh yes, he dances too. Idiot.
Best debuting wrestler
Three words, one repeated… Mister Kennedy.. Kennedy. Good finisher, GREAT gimmick, awesome charisma. Plus, his catchphrase works great walking up streets in the middle of the night after drinking too much. True story, fact fans.
Best cruiserweight
Not having seen any TNA or ROH this year bar the odd match, which goes to show my disenchantment with the wrestling world right now I’m going to be a total freakboy and give this to Paul London. He’s been gold every time I’ve saw him, and manages to entertain the peeps despite having the worst haircut of any human being living today.
Best commentator
He’s baa-ack – JOEY STYLES, MOTHER HUBBARD!!! Jim Ross is a clown, Jerry Lawler is senile, Michael Cole is improving, but still, sadly, Michael Cole and Tazz seems to be on autopilot when he’s not working with Styles. The less said about T** C***h the better.
Best female wrestler
Trish has the bosoms, Victoria has the behind – who do I choose… whaddyamean, this ain’t about how they look? Oh OK, I choose Trish then – purely because she’s given more chance to show what she can do ahead of Victoria. Candice was in the running for this awa… BWAH HAHAHA!!! I can’t even type that and not laugh.
Most under rated
Eddie. We didn’t realise how bloody good he was until he was gone, and by then it was too late.
Best gimmick
Mister Kennedy wins out again here with his awesome shtick of REPEATING HIS NAME!!! In all seriousness, it’s a good idea, superbly executed. DIG THAT MICROPHONE ANNOUNCING!!!
Best tag team
Meh. Mexicools. Cos it’s good to see them on TV and it’s always fun trying to guess what sex Juventud is.
Best worker
There can be only one… and his name is: BENOIT. Mr. Crippler has been awesome all year round, despite not actually seeming to be on the radar of anything important. DAMN YOU STEPHANIE MCMAHON! No reason, just damn her.
Most improved
Pfff. Should be called ‘Who still cares enough not to have sucked this year’ and that award… goes to… I don’t know. I know, Johnny Nitro. He was woeful last time he was on TV, and he’s only slightly less bad now, but it is an improvement.
Best feud
I’m gonna give this to Eddie vs. Dave. It really looked like it was going somewhere interesting before Eddie was taken from us. I loved the fact that DAVE~~~! Was in on the angle with everyone watching, that he knew Eddie was at it. Quality writing for a change.
Best talker
I’ll give this to Jesus himself, Shawn Michaels. Why? Well, THAT promo in Canada. You know the one, the one with the Bret Hart tease, Never has 2am seemed so alive in my house. I was positive Bret was there, and Michaels sold it beautifully. He’s still one of the best on the stick when he puts his mind to it, and more notably, when he’s a heel. Brother.
Best angle
Kurt. BWAH hahaha! No, seriously - the return of Matt Hardy ‘edges’ it for me. HA! Taking what was a very serious real life issue – well, losing your dog is always traumatic – weaving it seamlessly into a compelling story on TV, this rocked for the few weeks that it was relevant.
Best PPV
The only one I can remember thinking ‘I’m glad I watched that’ was probably WrestleMania, so I@m going with that.
Match of the Year
In a break from the norm, I’m NOT giving this to a WWE match. If I was, it would be Angle vs. HBK at WrestleMania. But, dear reader, I downloaded a match to see what the fuss was about and it rocked hard. That match? AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe. A great match, and truly the best of the year.
Wrestler of the Year
Well, I don’t care if it seems like a sympathy vote – I’m giving this to Eddie – a fitting tribute for a true great of the sport that we all love. Fact is, week in, week out – Eddie put on stellar performances in and out of the ring and he probably would deserve this in his own right. The fact that he’s not here to pick the award up… well, that’s just a damn shame. RIP, Eddie.
