Okey dokey, pig in a pokey - let’s get to it. It’s time once again for one of those columns that people seem to love, but I personally hate - the Random Rantings! without further ado, let’s get it on.
I’ve only saw him on Smackdown briefly, and it didn’t last long, but mark my words, Sean O’Haire is going to be huge. This new gimmick, look and self confidence he seems to have found from nowhere is a massive improvement. I always thought he had the makings of a star in the ring - this gimmick is the missing something for him.
The video promos have been superb, and check out forums and chatrooms across the ‘net - you’ll find people that aren’t “telling you anything that you don’t already know” already - the catchphrase is a hit already! If the gimmick pans out as things look, O’Haire is the little voice on your shoulder that persuades you to do something... look how easily Brian Kendrick was coerced into doing the streak on Smackdown with a simple “here, borrow mine”. Lovely stuff.
Of course, O’Haire could also be the Devil in disguise, which raises the question - if he is Satan, will he be jobbing to Shawn Michaels soon?
Isn’t it really annoying that Easter eggs are in the shops already? Christmas has just gone!
Velocity is getting extremely watchable, despite Josh Matthews and The Cat attempting to dumb it down beyond belief with their hideous commentary. Matthews seems to be on a mission to surpass the Coach in terms of banality, and The Cat... the less said about him and his momma the better.
Over on Heat, Coach continues to annoy and irritate like no-one else on Earth can. I bombarded fellow Smash columnist Lee Guse with Coach style phrases, and within 5 minutes he was begging for mercy... “Please, I’m beggin’ ya - don’t go there” as our anti-hero would undoubtedly say constantly.
I never thought I’d say this, but with Mark Lloyd on the UK edition of Heat, I actually long to hear the US commentary with Lita - she impressed me when I saw her on the pre-Rumble live Heat that the UK were treated to last month.
What does this mean? It means that the commentary in the WWE is in a bad state, possibly as bad as it’s ever been. Tazz and Cole entertain me on Smackdown, and Good Ol’ JR still has his moments, but Lawler’s horny teenager act grates as much as ever. The commentary tables need a major shake-up, and soon. There’s a role for Shawn when he decides to finally hang up the mirror vest - colour commentator on Raw...
Cruiserweights... Kidman. Why? WHY? Kidman, the antidote for insomnia has hung on to that Cruiser belt for what seems like 15 years, and it’s killing the division. But fear not, yours truly has this little plan in operation to SAVE the Cruiserweights. Matt says he’s dropping 10 lbs. to battle Kidman on his own terms and bring some Mattitude to the Cruiser division? Fine - let him take the belt, and hold it for a couple of weeks.
Here’s the good part - Shannon, the little MF’er finally sees the light, and turns on his guru, creating a ready made feud for the Cruiser weight title, injecting a little bit of excitement into what is becoming a lacklustre waste of TV time. Shannon & Matt go back a long way, so they know each other’s style - sounds like a recipe for a good Wrestlemania showdown to me - Hardy vs. Moore for the CW title. Sorted!
Rocky’s back, and yes, he’s a heel. The entertainment factor took a giant leap up thanks to this, but yes, I still have issues with both him and Hogan being handed top line billing immediately on their return. Never mind, nobody listens to me anyway...
Rock looks like he’s into this heel role, and it’s something he excels at. If nothing else, the promos should be better than the cheesy “you guys are great, I’m great, everything’s great” face promo he had got into the habit of cutting week after week.
The release of Raven, Credible and B-2 (I miss BOOyah already) has swelled the already loaded ranks of the Indy circuit - the one true winner from a WWE monopoly. The reports coming in from Indy promotions round the world have never looked so appealing to me... and if one of these can take a leap forward and become a legitimate contender, then even better.
NWA:TNA look like the most likely to do that, and the Russo effect hasn’t hurt their image too badly so far. Time will tell if they can stick it out and at least give Vince a run for his money in the short term.
You have to admit, for a guy that can barely stand without running out of breath, Steiner has been booked nicely on Raw. He’s managed to maintain his profile as top face without having to do anything too strenuous, last week’s Y2J match aside, and even that was kept short and relatively painless. No surprise that it was Jericho wheeled out as Steiner’s sacrificial lamb, it has to be said.
Raw has been slowly and steadily improving over the past few weeks - maybe something to do with Trips being out of action? Who knows... but up until the Jericho - Steiner match last week, it was most enjoyable. Having said that, Smackdown still rules over all - a killer tag match with Los Guerreros and Team Angle, a Benoit - Angle match topped off a solid all round show - hell, even A-Train was kept to below a minute... gotta love that strategy.
Start the campaign now! Get Brother Love back full-time! If only for the music! And he loooooooooves us, how can you turn him down???
And on that insightful note, I think we shall call it a day for now. Do enjoy whatever it is that you do, I know I’ll enjoy whatever the hell it is that I do! Until next time, have fun, go mad.
