This year’s WrestleMania has a weird feeling about it, if you ask me - I know you didn’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway. It just seems as if there’s something not quite right - the expectations placed on this once yearly showcase for the WWE are abnormally high this year... maybe it’s me, but it just seems as if there’s an artificial atmosphere being created by the WWE... all this hype, all this promotion... WrestleMania should stand on it’s own 2 feet, without the need for all this. Ho hum, I’m rabbitting again - let’s get into the predictions!
Granted, it now looks like this match has been given the Spanish archer (El bow - BWAH hahaha!) on to Heat, but we’ll include it anyway... basically because I’m like that.
World Tag Team Championship
Chief Morley & Lance Storm (Champions) vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane
Yet another title is awarded on Raw, seems to be the way things are done on that wacky Bischoff Brand - “You, sir, what are you doing? Nothing? Oh, well here we go, have a Championship!” - but none the less - both Lance Storm and Chief Morley are underrated performers, and should gel nicely as a team... is this the team that should have been made first time round? Who knows... Regal’s absence means that the dreaded “clash of styles” effect should be cut down to a minimum anyway.
As for RVD and Kane, they seem to have recovered from that teased break-up a few weeks back and look to be quite a solid pairing. It shows how Kane’s stock has dropped that he is now RVD’s sidekick, and it’s a waste that RVD is even IN a tag team, but that’s another rant. Hastily set up match, given Bubba and Regal’s injuries, you have to think that there’s no way Lance & The Chief will be dropping titles merely days after winning them in a prestigious tournament in Rio... erm, sorry wrong title - being awarded them.
Winners : Chief Morley & Lance Storm
Women's Championship Triple Threat Match
Victoria (Champion, with Steven Richards) vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Crazy lady action - turn the volume down now to avoid Jerry Lawler’s explosion when Trish walks out. Now, usually (and sadly) the women’s matches are just there to showcase some cleavage, but this one looks like it could be quite good. All three have some ‘issues’ to work out, and any two of the three work well with each other... it’s all just a matter of how well the triple threat interaction works out. Don’t get the sandwiches on this one folks, this could be good.
As for who’s going to win? Well, Victoria has held the belt for some time, and has Crazy Steven in her corner to back her up - any bets on his interference backfiring and costing Victoria the match? I’d be betting that Jazz will win this, as a result of that Steven interference.
Winner : Jazz
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Some would say the match that Jericho was born for, some would say the match that Michaels was born again for... This is the good old fashioned Young wiseguy takes on Old veteran in a matter of respect... usually, the old guy wins in the end to show the young kid what’s what, but I don’t see that happening in this case.
Given the limitations of what Michaels can do now, we perhaps won’t see the classic encounter we would have done 5 years ago, but I tell you what - this match should be great. Jericho’s Raw promo about himself modelling his style on Michaels was no hype - and what better stage to take on your role model than WrestleMania?
Michaels claims this is his last match either way, and he of all people would love to go out with a bang, and put on a hell of a show - and to be honest, I think he will. Michaels has to job here - going over Jericho would achieve nothing, and Jericho could benefit from “retiring” Michaels, much like Trips got the rub from retiring Mick Foley... it’s the only sensible thing. Isn’t it?
Winner : Chris Jericho
The Rock vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Logic dictates that The Rock should pick up the win after 2 blank WrestleMania matches, but logic also says that after an absence caused by no confidence in the creative staff, Steve Austin will be picking up the win to placate him. It’s a conundrum alright...
Rock suffered a loss at the hands of The Hurricane, while Austin managed to fight off Rock interference against Bischoff almost aimlessly. Both men have been involved in a war of words against each other that is nowhere near as entertaining as the build for WrestleMania X7 was, perhaps a side effect of both returning to the WWE after an absence, perhaps a sign that the characters are becoming just a little stale...
Rock and Austin have always worked well in the ring, and hopefully this should be no exception... the big crowd should be up for this one too, making it feel that much more like a big match. I can’t really see Austin losing this one, and Rock has shown in the past he has no qualms about putting people over at WrestleMania.
Winner : Steve Austin
World Heavyweight Championship:
Triple H (Champion, with "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair) vs. Booker T
Booker got a clean pin over Trips in a tag match on Raw this past Monday. You just signed your death warrant, sorry Book. This is pretty much the most forgettable World Title match at WrestleMania ever already - the build up has been subdued to say the least, and Book and Trips haven’t shown a great chemistry together yet, after being more or less thrown together by a process of elimination.
Book deserves his chance to hang with the top guys in this business, but I don’t think this match will do either man any favours when it comes to establishing some credibility. Hopefully, they can prove me wrong, but this is shaping up to be a dull affair. Book will put in a valiant, but ultimately hopeless show, no doubt Trips and one of his hangers on, most likely Flair, will come out on top in the end.
Winner : Triple H
WWE Cruiserweight Championship:
Matt Hardy (Champion, with Shannon Moore) vs. Rey Mysterio
Now this could be a good match - Mattitude has been running wild on Smackdown recently, and the gimmick has made it plain that the non-face painted Hardy is going to turn out the best of the two... now if only he’d stop wearing those awful trousers! Matt will have a size advantage over his opponent, the unique Rey Mysterio. Rey’s presence should give the crowd a nice little boost, so don’t be surprised to see this one up first.
Mysterio has skirted round the Cruiserweight division since his arrival, even though he looked like the very man that would give it the kick in the ass that it so badly needed, and still does, and let’s face it - either man having the belt gives it a bit more presence than Billy “I have no personality, but I got a hot chick” Kidman ever gave it in his WWE run.
This one is a strong contender for match of the night if the strength vs. speed story is played out right - and I’ll say that it will be - these two know what WrestleMania means, so the “A Game” will be on show tonight. As for the actual match, I would be betting on some form of Shannon Moore based hijinks getting involved, perhaps costing Matt the match, and setting up Shannon’s eventual turn against Mattitude...
Winner : Rey Mysterio
The Undertaker & Nathan Jones vs. The Big Show & A-Train
Whoo hoo hooo!!! Hands up those of you who know what’s coming here? Yes! It’s the Official WrestleMania Sandwich match... or in this case, more likely to be some nice spicy chicken fajitas, rather than a sandwich. Oh yes, I know how to live...
As for the match, well, who really cares - one hairball, one giant fat slob, one ex-con Aussie who apparently can barely walk without falling over, and a hell’s angel don not make a recipe for an interesting tag match.
Either Taker wins to keep his record going, or Nathan Jones turns on him setting up a feud there. I pick Taker to keep his record in a moment of caring, which believe me, will not happen again.
Winner : Undertaker & Nathan Jones
WWE Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match:
Team Angle (Champions) vs. Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno
However, this match looks a lot more promising, surprisingly. Team Angle look to be sharp enough to hold their own against these two genuine class acts, and we all know how good Los Guerreros can be on their day, especially with their new face act going down well. The x-factor here is Benoit & Rhyno - Rhyno’s still a relatively unknown quality given his return, so do he and Benoit have the chemistry to take the titles?
Given long enough and a hot crowd, this could well turn out to be another classic Smackdown tag match, and with players at the level of Rhyno, Benoit, Eddie and Chavo involved, even the relative newcomers in Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas shouldn’t be overawed by the occasion.
I would keep the belts on Team Angle in this one, and depending on how they’re going to work the WWE Title picture after WrestleMania, either have Rhyno or Benoit turn on the other and go heel, giving another top level heel to work with. Either way, I can see Team Angle retaining their gold.
Winners : Team Angle
Street Fight:
Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
20 years in the making, including what seems like 5 years worth of promotion in 3 weeks all over WWE television, and I don’t think anyone in the world is expecting this one to be a mat clinic, full of reversals and counter holds, or a fast and frantic display of tope rope manoeuvres, although I’d kinda like to see an attempt at a moonsault from Hogan...
No, this is going to be a brutal and bloody brawl in and out of the ring. If it’s as well planned as I suspect it is, then this could be another Hogan rollercoaster WrestleMania ride just like last year’s. This isn’t a match to site and analyse the psychology behind the arm-bars, this is a match to turn the brain off, and just let the two men and the crowd take you on a journey...
Given the retirement stipulation attached, I’d be amazed if Hogan lost this one, especially as he lost at last year’s WrestleMania, and at No Way Out one month ago. Hogan to take the win by any means necessary.
Winner : Hulk Hogan
WWE Championship
Kurt Angle (Champion) vs. Brock Lesnar
The big one, what SHOULD be the main event, and the most eagerly anticipated match in a long time. Also, one of the most jinxed, it would seem. Hopefully, Kurt’s last match for a long time will be more than able to meet the expectations put on it. It would also seem to be the ideal place to debut the much talked about Brock Lesnar shooting star press...
I guess we’ll have to wait and see on that one - what we will get will be some solid mat wrestling from both men, with their amateur backgrounds coming to the fore - both men have talked about their desire to find out who’s better, and they’ve been asked incessantly - who would win, Kurt or Brock? Now, we find out.
I don’t think the end to this one is in any doubt, it’s just how the end comes about - will Kurt go down in a blaze of glory or will his Team Angle get involved and blow his championship reign out of the water? I’d be putting money on a clean loss, but a turn after the match, with the aid of “Team Heyman”... giving Brock something to deal with in the coming months, besides John Cena... Let’s hope Kurt doesn’t do himself any more damage.
Winner : Brock Lesnar
So there we go - WrestleMania time already - doesn’t 12 months fly? With the exception of the tag match from hell, this is a pretty tidy card. We all know Hogan-McMahon will hog all the glory, no matter what, and that’s the focus of all the WrestleMania pre-show hype... Personally, I’m looking forward to the show. I guess by Monday we’ll all see how it went down. Join me then...
Until next time, have fun, go mad.
