 |
|
| Marcelus D'Monkey (aka Monkihiro Monkjiri) | |
| Unknown | |
| Le Citie Du Monkey, Texas | |
| He's a monkey... what more do you want? | |
| Black Belt in several Martial Arts; Can sit still for several hours - a sign of great concentration; Machine wash safe. | |
| Allergic to several kinds of music (Steps, Ronan Keating, Jazz) - prolonged exposure may cause brain leakage through ears; label on left leg is open to attack. | |
| "Oook!" and "Do not mock what you cannot kill, punk" | |
| His samurai sword, stolen from a temple in Japan - it is known as "mahbigknife". | |
| Keen follower of professional wrestling; Collects used Twix wrappers; subscribes to "Disembowelling Monthly". | |
| No one really knows when Marcelus was born. The first siting was several years ago, when he popped up in Japan using the assumed name Monkihiro Monkjiri. He attended several dojos and quickly became a master of several ancient and mystical martial arts, including Know Kan Do, and Kameer Y Li Kiku.
He vanished again for a few years, and rumour was he had decided to return from whence he came. The rumour was partially substantiated when Le Citie Du Monkie was burnt to the ground mysteriously, and never solved. Marcelus is still wanted for questioning surrounding an alleged sighting of him and a box of matches that night. Here the story of Marcelus becomes more visible. He took up residence in Los Angeles and set up an illegal chain of fast food restaurants. People claimed their chicken burgers "were more chewy than normal" and Marcelus' rise to the top left another slew of mysterious vanishings. Soon, Marcelus was second only to McDonalds in the fast food stakes. Having made his fortune, he closed down The Monkey House chain of stores, and let it be known that his skills were on offer for the highest bidder. Currently, he was believed to have been "a consultant" on Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes motion picture. |
|
| marcelus@monkeyholic.co.uk | |
