- Breaking News: Groovico is Missing
- Member of the Month: Nominations, Oh Nominations
- E-Feds/Gaming Section
- Top Ten Quotes
- Member Spotlight: Darkarius

Mtank: In our top story tonight, top administrator/webmaster Groovico is officially missing. We go to temporary MTNN correspondent, Darkarius whose reporting outside of the official Smash HQ. Good evening, Y2Jam.

Y2Jam: Good evening Tank’, tonight, the Headquarters of Smash is in chaos tonight as the frantic search for the webmaster and somewhat-scary polar bear lover has begun moments ago.

Mtank: Is there any signs of foul play involved, Jam?

Y2Jam: Wait… what’s this!?! Someone is coming out of the bathroom?? It’s Groovico! Oh Thank God! The search over! We’ve found Groovico! Our 3-minute hell is over!

Inno: That’s not Groovico! That’s Doug Flair!

Doug Flair: Uh… hi.

Y2Jam: Get him!

(The once philanthropist search team turns into a blood-thirsty, angry mob and descends onto Doug Flair)

Doug Flair: Yargh!

(Transmission Cut)

Mtank: Well… huh. Thank you, Y2Jam… *ahem* In other news, Doug Flair has been rushed to the hospital for injuries, cause is unknown. More on that when we receive it.

Mtank: Our sporting news section has been cut due to the fact that the only sports news has been axed and therefore we have nothing to report on. But we have our last sporting news report with the poll from last week concerning the ending of the SCF.

Heres the breakdown:

A total of 26 people voted (One up from last week, wooo!)
8 people voted (30%) That they didn’t care last week and they still don’t care this week
8 people voted (30%) That they still thought someone was on crack (Which is odd since only 2 people voted for this in the previous poll, so how could 6 other people still think someone is on crack?)
6 people voted (23%) That they were sad to see it go, it was enjoyable
2 people voted (7%) That they thought it was alright
2 people voted (7%) That they cared last week, but don’t care anymore
And 0 people voted (Thank God) that this was their livelihood.

Mtank: *Ahem* Now for this week, we’re doing something special, and to ensure that no one skips over this section here is a random picture of a box opening itself:

Mtank: Alright now… No down here! Stop looking at the box and look here! Thank you. Alright, now that I have your attention, this week we will be having nominations for the “Member of the Month.” You the viewers will nominate whom you think have brought himself/herself up to a level of excellence this month. We here at MTNN don’t want just people randomly throwing their names out. We want a name with a detailed reason why you believe they deserve such a prestigious position. Next week we will have a special edition with details on each of the nominees and of course the voting of whom will be the “Member of the Month” for January.

Mtank: Now continuing with news, we have our report on the current Game explosion (not literally) that has occurred in the E-Feds/Gaming section from Temporary MTNN news correspondent, LG Hooker.

LG Hooker: This blows.

Mtank: From temporary MTNN news correspondent, IamStevie.

IamStevie: Hello Mtank! Here is our special on “Why Marrying Our Cousins is Not Only a Right, but a Way of Life.”

Mtank: …. Alright, by me. This report is now being done by me.

Mtank: The E-fed/Games section was once like an empty walnut shell: Empty. The most recent thread was one that was locked and the zone was left desolate like talent in the WWE. The Zone was dying, and no hope was on the horizon. But there truly had to be hope, like in so many dramatic movies I’ve seen, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and frankly movies don’t lie. There was hope, right? No, no there was not… not until someone came in and plugged their e-fed and got subsequently banned. Good riddance. Damn pluggers.

But now, the zone is showing signs of life. Life like how we come into this world, covered in goo. The Zone had found it’s goo and is now gooing it up. Here is a brief rundown of the gooing that is going on:

Psychic Jeopardy: (Run by Tommyllama) Psychic Jeopardy is an interesting play on the famous Sony Pictures show Jeopardy (Please don’t sue us!). Instead of hearing the answer and giving the question that corresponds, the contestants try to psychically guess what the answer would be and then make a question for it. It’s also rigged since Mtank lost, and Mtank don’t lose nothing, I tells ya! Rigged! RIGGED! I mean, it is a good game. Signups continue here.

ECW – The E-Fed: (Run by Anthony aka Sweatsock) After the long summer of E-feds, the Gaming section had been devoid of any strong/good e-feds, but along comes Anthony and history is being made. Anthony has taken the challenge of recreating the ECW with an ECW e-fed where Smash members take up the roles of their favorite ECW wrestlers and watch as they tear each other limb from limb. Will Anthony not give in to the lull of writing matches aka laziness or will Anthony go down in Smash history as the proprietor of the ECW E-fed? Only time and this 6-piece bucket of chicken knows the answer, and frankly, the damn chicken isn’t answering so I guess we’ll have to wait. The first show has already been written and can be viewed here

WWEBet: (Run by BigJintheUK) Gambling. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to mankind since the invention of pornography. BigJintheUK is now utilizing our love for gambling by making this rather innovative game. In this game you are to use *FAKE* money and bet on the results of the WWE events. What separates it just from another game where you just pick whomever, BigJ has added the aspect of “Odds.” Choosing the obvious choice won’t get you the biggest payoff. That’s what makes this game interesting/fun. BigJ has done a fantastic job with this game. I’m not sure if signup is still available, but you can check here.

The Smash Royal Rumble (V2): (Run by that delightful fella) And finally we have the second annual Smash Royal Rumble. 20 Smash members are competing for the chance to… Oh… I forgot, I need to make an award thingy! Er… I mean, signups are over, but everyone can vote here

Mtank: In other news, damn it! Stop looking at the box! *Ahem* In other news… Uhm… Okay… there is no other news. Uhm… uh… (Think Mtank, quickly make something up!) Oh, right, yes… *ahem* Here’s the box again!

…

(Where is the box?)

(What do you mean budget cutbacks?)

(What do you mean we’re still on the air?)

(What do you mean Horace Hogan isn’t with the WWE anymore?)

(What do you mean the MTNN has been brought to you by GroovyCompany.com, we’re practically giving stuff away… Please come! Please…)

(What do you mean when pressing this red button will…

Mtank: We continue into our always popular feature, the ‘Top Ten Quotes of the Week’:

Top Ten Quotes of the Week

10. “Sophie for Mod!”
- Mr. Torrie Wilson

9. I'm better then you because I'm not a Canadian hoe,
- Big Dave

8. ”Damn, I venture in here in search of some 'Mergin n Blergin', and the first thing I saw was Hasselhoff, lunch box and all.
- Raw is Jericho

7. ”HHH was born a couple towns over from me. ok bad example. uhh New Hampshire, New Hampshire, ooh! we're known for being the state above Massachusetts!”
- RVDSucka

6. ” Fonz dating!!?!?!? He or she would have to be insane
- dr.Road Woyah

5. ” That's like comparing tits to ass. Theres no comparison. Both are special in their own way.”
- Mtank325

4. ” For some reason, I giggled like a lunatic when I saw ShowStealer's name in the last post... for some reason I thought it was ShoeStealer
- Inno

3. ” I'm better than ALL OF YOU...because I'm a woman!
- LadyScorpion

2. “I love lesbians. We all do. Not real lesbians. I've never met any real lesbians, but movie lesbians, are cool.”
- Dannyboy

1. ”puttin dates on yur letters dont count as dating”
- Sophie

Congratulations Sophie for the quote of the week!

Mtank: And to finish this edition we have the member spotlight on Darkarius this week. Enjoy and good night!

What comes to our mind when we mention the name Darkarius?

A sack of potatoes = No

A sack of non-potatoes = No

The First Man on Pluto = Darkarius? Oh hell yes.

Instead of talking about what Darkarius is, we here at MTNN want to talk about what Darkarius will be, the first human on Pluto. Now scientists would use “logic” and tell you that humanity on Pluto is an insane and impossible stunt. We here at MTNN are practical people. We realize that scientists are indeed lobster people using big words to subdue us and steal our Rice Krispie squares. So do you want some damn, dirty crustacean stealing your Rice Krispy Squres? Of course not! That’s why we need to make Darkarius the first man on Pluto.

How do we do this? Easy.

We put Darkarius on a sophistimacated whoseitwhatsit and launch him to Pluto! Heres what it would accurately look like:

And here’s the beautiful results of our lunatic, suicidal, but good for all humanity plan:

As you can see putting Darkarius on Pluto is a reasonable and humanity-saving decision. God speed Darkarius and bring us back some of that sweet sweet Pluto pie!

1/11/03 - Drummk
1/18/03 – Warriorfan
1/25/03 – Darkarius
2/1/03 - January’s *Member of the Month* Could it be you?

©2004 MtNN Studios
(Yes this is fake)

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