- And the January Member of the Month is…
- The Smash Royal Rumble v1.9: Results and Statistics
- 10,000-03 and the race to 10,000-04
- Member Spotlight: Tommyllama
Mtank: Good evening, I’m MTNN news anchorman Mtank325. Tonight is February 9th, 2004. In our top news, we have the results in for the January “Member of the Month.” We go to MTNN News Correspondent, Show Stealer, who is standing outside the JMOM Polls, Good evening S. Stealer.
Show Stealer: Good evening M. Tank. The last vote was just registered here moments ago and the votes are currently being tallied. In just a few seconds we will have the results for JMOM.
Mtank: What is the environment currently like right now?
Show Stealer: … What do I look like to you? An environmental expert??? What the hell…
Mtank: No, I meant how are the people reacting?
Show Stealer: Uh… people? *Looks around* Yes, Mtank, “People.” The “People” sure are excited.
Mtank: So no one is there awaiting the results?
Show Stealer: No… Well wait, there’s a sanitation person. He’s sweeping the floor in wide arcs. The skillful usage of the brush pushes the dirt from one point to another is quite amazing and I assume he’ll then sweep it into some sort’ve pan-like device. Wait, wait! There he goes! Clearly amazing spectacle we have here.
Mtank: …
Show Stealer: And the pan handling is quite skillful and… Oh wait, we have the JMOM results. Let’s just hope this doesn’t take too much time up from our “Sanitation Worker 04’” coverage.
Mtank: Just read the damn results.
Show Stealer: Yeah yeah, *Ahem* From the nominees of Inno, Tommyllama, Arnold Furious, theFonz, and Sophie, the January Member of the Month has been declared as…
Tommyllama!
Mtank: And there you have it folks! Tommyllama is the…
The Fluffster: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Hold the potato chips here! Tommyllama is not the JMOM! Sophie clearly had more votes!
Mtank: Uh, ahem, yes that is correct. BUT, by the decision of the MTNN Executive board, we have decided that Tommyllama shall be declared as the Member of the Month and Sophie will receive an honorary mention.
The Fluffster: Blasphemy!
MTank: Blasphemy? Uh, anyway, the decision was made because of the fact that we added Sophie merely for the reason of holding down a strong argument against another member on one solitary day. We deliberated the fact that since really she is not a ‘regular’ member persay, she will receive an honorary mention as “Member of the Week” and Tommy, whom has shown unyielding Smash pride and support, will receive the “Member of the Month” award.
The Fluffster: This is outrageous!
MTank: Wait a minute, you didn’t even vote for Sophie, why do you care?
The Fluffster: I don’t!
MTank: So what’s the problem?
The Fluffster: I don’t know!
Mtank: Oh.... okay, weird. Well anyway, congratulations to Tommyllama for becoming January’s Member of the Month. Also congratulations to Sophie for receiving the “Member of the Week.” We will be having our vote for February’s Member of the Month on March 7th, 2004. Here is the honorary “Plaque” *snicker* for Llama:
Print it out, hang it up, do what you want with it, you earned it!
Mtank: Oh and for those who were wondering…
A grand total of 38 People (Record-breaking) voted in the polls
Sophie in reality came out on top with 14 votes (36%)
Tommyllama came in 2nd with 9 votes (23%)
Arnold Furious was 3rd with 7 votes (18%)
TheFonz came in 4th with 5 votes (13%)
Inno came in 5th with 3 votes (7%)
Now about the “Member of the Month.” Also this feature I started because I felt that it would honor members of Smash who have shown exemplary posting and grace throughout that month. It’s merely a silly lil’ feature, it’s no reason to get so worked up about.
Mtank: Anyway, we continue with the results to the Royal Rumble 2004. Many of you have been recently following the 20-man Rumble and it all comes to a closure tonight. And now the final report on the Royal Rumble 2004, by lead fan, Hef. Good evening, Hef.
Hef: Good evening Mtank, moments ago, the Smash Royal Rumble 2004 drew to a close and a winner declared. Now we wait outside in the freezing cold until the champion emerges to walk to his prize for winning, a free 5-minute trip in a 93’ Buick. A simply amazing award. And here he comes! And your 2004 Smash Royal Rumble winner is…
SeeDub!
Hef: SeeDub is the Royal Rumble winner! Congratulations, SeeDub, on your victory.
SeeDub: Thank you, Hef, it’s a great honor to be the winner here. Woo! I get a ride in 93’ Buick! Whose the man??? Whose the fricking man???
Hef: Yes, and…
SeeDub: No seriously, who?
Hef: Uh… you are, SeeDub.
SeeDub: That’s right! I’m going to Disneyland! … Three years from now… with my future wife and three kids… and my mom and dad… and my dog “Tiger”… Woo!
Hef: Well congratulations all the same to you SeeDub. On behalf of the MTNN, we’d like to thank all those who competed in this year’s Royal Rumble.
Mtank: Yes, congrats to SeeDub for his victory. We have some stats here now on the Rumble we’d like to share with you.
- The longest surviving member was “Rock Bottom,” whom entered the Rumble 1st and was eliminated last
- Murphmeister had the most throw-outs with a whopping 5 tosses: Void, ThatChumpStain, TheChosen1, TheFluffster, and Litaizmybabe
Here is the entry order:
1. Rock Bottom (Thrown out Ninteenth)
2. Rooq (Thrown out fourth)
3. Crippin (Thrown out first)
4. Venger (Thrown out second)
5. Show Stealer (Thrown out third)
6. ThatChumpStain (Thrown out tenth)
7. RVDSucka (Thrown out fifth)
8. Murphmeister (Thrown out fifteenth)
9. Thefonz (Thrown out sixth)
10. Litaizmybabe (Thrown out twelth)
11. Void (Thrown out thirteenth)
12. TheChosen1 (Thrown out eleventh)
13. MysterioKozuna (Thrown out seventh)
14. Smoke Daddy (Thrown out ninth)
15. Anthony (Thrown out eighth)
16. SeeDub (Winner)
17. Banzai (Thrown out seventeenth)
18. ThePhenom (Thrown out sixteenth)
19. Tommyllama (Thrown out eighteenth)
20. TheFluffster (Thrown out fourteenth)
And the Elimination Order:
1. Crippin (By Venger)
2. Venger (By ThatChumpStain)
3. Show Stealer (By ThatChumpStain)
4. Rooq (By RVDSucka)
5. RVDSucka (ByTheFonz)
6. TheFonz (By MysterioKozuna)
7. MysterioKozuna (By Anthony)
8. Anthony (By SeeDub)
9. Smoke Daddy (By Phenom, ThatChumpstain, and Litaizmybabe)
10. ThatChumpStain (By Murphmeister)
11. TheChosen1 (By Murphmeister)
12. Litaizmybabe (By Murphmeister)
13. Void (By Murphmeister)
14. TheFluffster (By Murphmeister)
15. MurphMeister (By Rock Bottom)
16. ThePhenom (By Rock Bottom)
17. Banzai (By Rock Bottom)
18. Tommyllama (By SeeDub)
19. Rock Bottom (By SeeDub)
The Winner: SeeDub
Mtank: Thanks to all those who voted/participated. A truly grand event the Rumble was this year.
Mtank: Now we continue on with our coverage of the covenanted 10,000 posts. We go to MTNN Correspondent theChosen1, hello One.
TheChosen1: Hello Mtank, I’m here outside of… Well I’m outside, and today I’m here to report that RVDSucka, local Smash stalker, is the third member to spam, I mean conquer the behemoth post count of 10,000, a truly remarkable feat, sort’ve like when an elephant learns to play the piano, yes, that kind of event.
But how did it truly start? We here at MTNN have the lowdown. It all began in small town, USA, where RVDSucka was born. Years later, RVDSucka made10,000 posts on Smashwrestling.com’s forum. Quite an amazing history.
Mtank: Yes, Sucka has hit 10,000 posts, you heard it first here at MTNN. Now we breakdown the post count to see who the fourth will be to hit 10,000 in our 10,000x-4- coverage. Here are the #4-10 members with the highest posts:
Big Dave – 44 posts to go
Hef – 411 posts to go
Jmac – 1,064 posts to go
Mr. Torrie Wilson – 1,161 posts to go
Inno – 1,224 posts to go
Raw is Jericho -1,581 posts to go
Mtank325 – 1,923 posts to go
As you can see, these 7 members have less then 2,000 to go, with the lead runner Big Dave with only 44 to go. This year has started off rather exciting with two, and the prospective of a third, members hitting 10,000 posts. We’ll keep you posted on the 10,000 action as we receive it.
In our weekly poll we ask you who will hit 10,000x-5-? It’s obvious that Big Dave will be hitting the big 10,000 next, unless some sort’ve freak accident occurs, which is always possible here on Smash, but we’re making an assumption that Dave will be next.
Now before you all go and vote for Hef, remember that Hef was a contender for the first to hit 10,000 and now three (soon four) members have passed him. So think who will be the most likely to spam first? What? Stop looking at me like that. :x
Mtank: We now go to our feature, the “Top Ten Quotes of the Week.” Which this week is technically top 3 quotes of the week. This feature is mostly why it was delayed last night cause searching the forum for quotes is annoying! I’ll have to start writing down quotes when I see them…
”Top Four Quotes of the Week”
4. ” Sure enough, when she got home I said "Hey, you want that cookie?" She opened it and started bawling. She couldn't believe it. She kept saying "Oh My god...Oh my God..." It was priceless. Couple minutes later I said... "So...you gonna say yes, or what?"
- LG Hooker (Popped the question)
3. ” I was planning on buying red and black cushions to go on a black leather sofa but I decided that was being a little too feminine.
(And we all know SeeDub is a MAN right!?)”
- SeeDub
2. ” Shocking and out of nowhere?? No problem! Randomly, just turn to her with this psychotic look in your eye; "everywhere I go, your there. When I wake up in the morning, your by my side with that constant smile on your face. All this love is driving me insane...." then you pull out a gun and BAM!!!!!
a la Stone Cold Steve Austin, a little flag will pop out saying "Marry Me 3:16"
- Iamstevie (Advice on how to pop the question)
1. 
Hmmm, funny stuff…”
- Rooq
Congratulations to Rooq for the quote of the week!
MTank: We finally finish this edition up with out grandiose look at the Member of the Month, Tommyllama. Enjoy and good night!
Llamas. Sick, twisted, disturbing creatures that pry on the flesh of humanity. That’s what you usually think about Llamas. Dirty, dirty mad killing machines bent on ruling humanity with their evil dictatorship ways. But there is one man who can honestly say, “No, Llamas are loveable.” Who is that man, why none other then MTNN’s January Member of the Month, Tommyllama.
Sure, he’s a Llama-lover and yes that does sound disturbing, but it’s not the fact that he loves dirty, humanity-enslaving creatures, no it’s the fact that Tommyllama is such a great person. He has a great devotion to the forum that we forgive his dirty personal ways.
What is the future for Tommyllama? The future is always hazy, but I predict great things including:
- A new hat
- Um… a good post
And that’s about all I can think of.
The future of Smash is bright with a member like Llama, so once Darkarius returns, we shall raise our sweet sweet Pluto pies to a great Smash member!
Tommyllama. A Llama-lovingly, humanity-enslavingly good guy.
©2004 MtNN Studios
(Yes this is fake)
