Mtank News Network (MTNN)
"You People STILL Read This???”
February 15, 2004
Edition v2.0
- Smash News hits 10 Issues!
- Weekly Happenings
- Sports
- Smack the Pingu
- What if…
- Infiltration of the Staff Forum
- Top Ten Quotes
Mtank: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight is a very special night indeed as it is version 2.0 or our tenth edition of Smash news. Very exciting indeed. And with our new edition comes change. We here at MTNN would first like to thank you, the readers, for supporting us this far. We haven’t skimped out on a week and thanks to you, we probably won’t for another week or two.
Now, change. An interesting point was made on how Smash News could help document the history of Smash and tell us what was happening in this timeframe. In past issues really it’s been rather silly, inane material only meant to humor, but Smash News could definitely go in a more serious direction and help inform and document history as it happens. You might see some changes around here, and some of them might confuse even frighten you, but don’t worry. As a famous young lad once said, “It’s all good.”
Mtank: To start our 10th edition, we have the “Weekly Happenings” report with Hef who joins us here in the studio. Good evening, Hef.
Hef: Good evening, Mtank. First off we start off with the story of two lovers coming to a head with members “LG Hooker” and “Mrs. Hooker” declaration of marriage last Monday. The two will be tying the knot on the first of May. Rooq has reportedly assigned himself as bridesmaid. No joke. May God help their souls. Congratulations all the same to the soon-to-be-wed Hookers.
Moving on, a fourth member has hit 10,000 posts. I won’t keep you in suspense, it was Big Dave. A very large congratulations to Big Dave for being the fourth to reach this behemoth post. It is untrue that Big Dave burned his underwear in celebration.
Mtank: Sorry for the inclusion, but interloping with that last piece of news, we have the results for whom the people of Smash believe will be the fifth to hit 10,000 posts.
Five people voted (31%) that Mr. Torrie Wilson will be the fifth
Four people voted (25%) that Hef will be the fifth
Three people voted (18%) that Inno will be the fifth
Three people voted (18%) that Raw is Jericho will be the fifth
One person voted (6%) that Mtank325 will be the fifth
Zero people voted (0%) that JMac will be the fifth
Mtank: Back to you Hef.
Hef: Right. Continuing with the news. This week saw another Fonzie argument. No surprise.
In Stablewars Season 16, Smash member, Venger, was able to pick up the number uno position out of 100+ players. Impressive, indeed, doubtful he’ll hold onto it for the entire season, but hey, weirder things have happened.
Also, … what? What is this?
Mysteriokozuna would like to extend a barn-burningly good hand to all the denizens of Smash Wrestling Forum and invite you to the first annual Great Debate contest. They’ll be so many great deals that passing this moment up would be like falling out of tree. So don’t delay head to the
I’m not reading this! It’s corny and stupid… oh damn it, I just rea… grrr… That’s it, I’m outta here.
Mtank: Well thank you, Hef for that report. For our reinstated Sporting news, we go to Ultimo LJ, LJ?
Ultimo LJ: Hello Mtank! Since nothing happened this week, we’ll travel back into time to two weeks ago. February 5th, 2004 saw the third television show of the Smash ECW. I’ll give you a quick rundown on the exciting action.
- Paul Heyman, obviously worried about this ‘mystery man’, called a beginning meeting with the main-carders offering $5,000 to anyone who could turn anything up on the situation. $5,000 could get a hella of a lot of Rogaine, so I suspect Austin and Taz will be on the case.
Well that’s Hardcore Television #3. Exciting, a little short. For the full details check it out here: ECW
Mtank: Thank you LJ. We go now to the recently returnee from interspecies surgery, Penguin of Doom for a special report of the game, “Smash the Pingu” that has been a favorite of Smashers alike. Penguin?
Penguin of D.: Hello, Mtank. As stated, the vicious, evil game of abusing poor, innocent penguins known as, “Smack the Pingu,” has taken a strong liking here on Smash, which sickens me by the way. Anyway, with two versions currently out on Smash airwaves, I would like to petition that…
Mtank: Yes, good job Penguin on that report. Here on MTNN though we would like to present to you a brand NEW version exclusive for MTNN readers! Well actually it would be exclusive if this was released Thursday, but Brother of Destruction has found it and ruined it for all of us here at MTNN, including Raw Is Jericho, a vivid fan of our work.
Anyway, back to my little happy speech.
That’s right another version of “Smack the Pingu!” In this version an orca whale gets in the fun.
- The first match saw Mikey Whipwreck and Bam Bam Bigelow facing off. The match had a rather disturbing finish with Bam Bam moonsaulting Mikey in a trashcan. Not a pretty sight while eating grease-intensified nachos.
- The Impact Players and Steve Corino Vs Jerry Lynn, Chris Benoit and The Sandman was the next match. After a dizzying match, Benoit managed to put on the Crippler Crossface on Justin Credible, giving the win to Lynn, Benoit, and Sandman
- The last event was with Austin and Terry Funk squaring off, which degenerated into a major slugfest. I was unable to keep track of all that happened from all the craziness. Needless to say Austin was able to put Funk down somewhere during the match, or so my results sheet says.
note : the thread, sadly, no longer exists. Let us take a brief moment to mourn it's passing. OK, enough, move along please.
