Edgefan News Network (ENN)
"Mexicali Nose”
March 15, 2004
Edition v2.2
- February Member of the Month
- Weekly Happenings
- Mtank’s Game of the Week
- Top Quotes of the Week
Edgefan25: Good evening, I am ENN anchorwoman, Edgefan25. Tonight we have our special monthly Member of the Month edition of Smash News where we take a look back at the standout members in the grand month of February. As you recall, the January MOM was done rather shabby with a shady-like finish, but I remind you that was run by Mtank, yes, so you shouldn’t have expected much. But this time around, I, Edgefan have taken the reigns and will totally be unbiased about this thing.
Our first nominee is… RVDsucka… Wait a minute, not that basta…
Bishop Brennon: I’ll take it from here my dear!
Edgefan25: What the…
Bishop Brennon: The first nominee for the “February Member of the Month” is RVDsucka. RVDsucka was nominated for two reasons: He’s a strong, consistent poster and he was able to reach 10,000 posts this month. With that combination how could you go wrong?
Our second nominee goes out to Kurt Angle for running both the ‘WWE Fantasy League’ and ‘Smash Weakest Link’ games. Running forum games is a time-consuming, thankless job that requires much dedication. For that reason Kurt Angle receives a nomination.
Our third nomination goes out to Clarkey because of his work in the Console, Computer, and Technology Zone. This zone really took off this month, and Clarkey was one of the main reasons why. He reported on many topics and kept Smashers up on gaming news that sometimes broke before even some of the main sites got it. Clarkey also put his profound two cents into most of the threads and kept the section moving. For that reason, Clarkey receives a nomination.
And out final two nominations also go to two guys with similar stories. The Man and the Fluffster both receive FMOM nominations just because they are damn good members and they’ve stuck around with us. Can you honestly say that you’ve read a meaningless post by either of these members? Both posted well in February, and both are strong members here on Smash.
Edgefan25: Uh… Well there you have it… I think. The nominees for the February Member of the Month… Er moving on, we have Hef with the ‘Weekly Happenings’ report. Hef.
Hef: Good evening, Edgefan. Wow, uh I like what you’ve done with the place.
Edgefan25: Yes, a nice splat of pink really cheers this place up, don’t you think?
Hef: Sure… Anyway, in events this week the biggest piece of news being Inno receiving two separate strikes for two entirely different events. The entire Smash board was shocked when lead administrator first edited the post of Groovico (A cardinal unwritten rule of smite-worthiness) and posting four pictures in the same post. Many believed this to be the Apocalypse, but to those I say, please don’t hang yourselves, Inno’s just sick (Cold-sick, not mentally).
Fonzie had some stiff competition in flaring tempers this week when newcomer Romance started several threads that had the Smash members more then piping mad. In a surprise move, Romance’s account was deactivated by choice after a tear-jerking goodbye. He was probably only joking when he said it, but hey it makes it all the more hilarious for us.
With Wrestlemania XX happening this week, the Smash forum has capitulated in threads regarding the WWE’s largest event ranging from debates on the card to people’s plans for the event. This week really reminds us all that this is indeed a wrestling forum... for now.
LG Hooker gave a report on his upcoming bouncing baby of joy/destructor of freedom with first reports of life stirring in Mrs. Hooker. LG Hooker didn’t think it was macho to report this and had a tag to prevent us macho men (Not the Randy Savage variants) from entering. But we’re not in that thread now are we, Emotional Ed? Just kidding. The best of luck to the Hookers on their upcoming marriage and soon-to-be little Hooker.
Smash recently has had a strange logging problem, reported to by Bradshaw101. It has become a widespread problem, with many Smashers reporting it. Mtank325, recently deceased moderator, has put out the following solution: Let it fix itself. Continued problems are expected.
And in our final big news, the “Fantasy WWE League” in the E-Fed section is in its last week, with Inno, Chip, and the Great Deku Tree all in the run for bragging rights. Kurt Angle is creating a second version to this very popular/good game. Props to Kurt Angle for his great contributions.
Quick News…
- Big Dave returned from a short hiatus
- Hef (Yes me) is only 38 posts from hitting 10,000-x-05
- Diary Products, finger injuries, and Weapons of all sorts of choice reigned the General sections thanks to Fonzie and Iamstevie.
- Darkarius is the horniest person on Smash by scoring a 77% on the “Horny Quiz”
And the threads most prominent in each section this week…
- General Chat
“Fonz’s Dislocated Finger Report”
Started by TheFonz
- Sport
“Football Quiz – Penalty Kicks Galore ”
Started by Archie
- Multimedia Zone
“VHS or DVD?”
Started by The Chosen1
- Console, Computer, and Technology Zone
“Games to Movies - Soul Calibur Rights Bought”
Started by Clarkey
- Current Events/Political Zone
“Sniper Gets Death Sentence”
Started by Big Dave
- Music Zone
“What Smasharific song are you listening to *VERSION X*??”
Started by The Great Deku Tree
- Net Crap
“Horny Quiz”
Started by The Chosen1
- Funny Pics/Jokes Zone
“The real victim of the Lesnar situation”
Started by Inno
- E-Fed and Forums Zone
“Fantasy WWE league”
Started by Kurt Angle
- The Smash Asylum
“HAHAH I hate everybody and Everything....”
Started by Romance
Edgefan25: And to tie in with Hef’s report, from our poll last week, we asked you what you people thought of David Hasslehoff’s “Pingu Prance.”
A total of 16 people voted
Six people voted (37%) they feared for their lives and did not listen.
Four people voted (25%) they found the song to be ‘okay’
Three people voted (18%) that they had indeed died from listening to the song
Two people voted (12%) they had no knowledge of who David Hasslehoff is
One person voted (6%) that they actually liked the song… Scary.
Mtank325: And now we have Mtank’s “Game of the Week” report!
Edgefan25: Hey wait a minute, I thought you were dead??
Mtank325: Yeah, so did I.
Anyway, Mtank’s Game of the Week is James Bond: Everything or Nothing. Electronic Arts has struggled to create anything as fabulous as the cult classic, Goldeneye for the N64. This game probably comes the closest, but still fails to knock Goldeneye off its high chair of Bondness. Everything or Nothing does a very good job in actually simulating a Bond movie with an explosive introduction, action-filled game play, and some cool “Bond Moments.” The game has its own original storyline packed with stars with the usuals in the movies lending their voices like Pierce Brosnan and John Cleese and other stars joining in the fun including Shannon Elizabeth, William Dafoe, Mya, and Heidi Klum.
The part I disliked about the game was the third-person aiming. The aiming system was controlled by the right trigger, but it became extremely clunky with multiple of enemies. Otherwise the game play is rather fun, including the nicely done driving sequences. The graphics are decent, nothing defining, but decent. I would definitely not recommend the game for the price of $50 and would wait for a price drop or pick it up for a rent. The game is rather short, but has some quality unlockables and the entirely separate co-op mode is fun as well. It’s multi-console, so everyone has a chance to check it out!
- Gameplay – 8.7 out of 10
- Graphics – 8.8 out of 10
- Sound – 9.2 out of 10
- Storyline – 9.0 out of 10
- Price: I would wait until it drops to at least $40
- Mtank’s Verdict – 8.9 out of 10 (Not a average)
Mtank325: Be sure to check out FuriousRage.com for more gaming reviews! Back to you Edgefan!
Edgefan25: Uh…
Crippin: Edgefan! You’ll never guess where I’m calling from! I’m in prison! Wooo!
Edgefan25: Ah! This is all so confusing! Why are you on the phone with me?
Crippin: I made a friend, Edgefan! His name is Earl! Yay, Earl, yay! Bye, Edgefan!
Edgefan25: … Just go to the quotes.
Top Ten Quotes of the Week
10. “you guys are just jealous of my larger penis.”
- TheFonz
9. “I would loved to have a discussion board just based on me ”
- Romance
8. “Herpes”
- Raw is Jericho
7. “Romance reminds me vaguely of one of the felonious fisherman who tried to mug me on a coral atoll off the coast of Tanzania. Good times.”
- Drummk
6. “Where is thefonz? I haven't seem him around here in ages and I'm very concerned.”
- Shane McMahon”
5. “ would you two please shut the fuck up or go away and get married or something?”
- Inno (To Mysteriokozuna and Rock Bottom)
4. “ You are probably the soilder everyone tells to go check for mines.”
- Smoke Daddy
3. “ *High fives Dannyboy, dislocating his finger, and considers starting 5 threads about it...*”
“ Aww, poor little romance was bullied at school and never had any friends.”
- Bishop Brennon (Double Quoter!)
2. “ What can I do to help?” – Black_Widow_AK
“be the entertainment at the bachelor party”
- Van Wilder
1. “ I think not serving in the military is better then burning flags, flag burner!”
- Mtank325
Edgefan25: And Congratulations to… Alright what was that?
RVDSucka: Mwahahaha!
Edgefan25: (Sigh) From everyone here at ENN…
Bishop Brennon: I can’t find my pants.
Edgefan25: … Good night.
Credits
ENN Writer: Mtank325
ENN News Anchorwoman: Edgefan25
ENN “February Member of the Month” Reporter: Bishop Brennon
ENN “Weekly Happenings”: Hef
ENN “Game of the Week” Reporter: Mtank325
©2004 MtNN Studios
(Yes this is fake)
If I may speak seriously now. Over the past three months I have been writing like crazy to put out this series, but I really have been falling off my duties persay on writing this. I know that things should be stopped when their in their best so they can be remembered in a good light. I feel that it would only be intelligent of me to continue this series without serious repercussions. I mean it’s not really that entertaining to you guys anymore, right? I really can’t see anymore alternatives. I have a month and a half left of schooling and I really need to pay attention for the end here, and this really eats up a lot of time. And besides, I could always revive the series when I’m done right? Probably not. I be lazy again.
Anyway, it was fun while it lasted. I don’t know how many versions I put out. A lot. Probably only one or two were actually good to you guys. The rest were bleh. Sloppily thrown together pieces of work that only enticed with a gimmicky approach. Not really worth anyone’s time or effort.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that the next version of “King of Smash” is going to be cancelled. I know, I know. Most of you telepaths were really looking forward to the next version, but I’ve been writing the past three months like crazy and with school and everything. So you know, I’m sorry, but that won’t be going on anymore.
